


numbers

by KittyEmz



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Loneliness, Other, they made it through the death road of despair and all of them escaped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29144442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyEmz/pseuds/KittyEmz
Summary: When Shuichi had imagined a better life outside of the killing game, he hadn’t expected this.Maybe he’d had unrealistic expectations. Perhaps the fact that they had all lost their memory had contributed. But, regardless; Shuichi had imagined a peaceful, content life with his newfound friends.He didn’t expect the confused look on Kaede’s face when he embraced her in celebration. He didn’t expect Ryoma and Maki to withdraw themselves away again. He couldn’t get used to Miu and Kokichi not making fun of each other ruthlessly every time they saw each other.But most importantly, he definitely did not expect the faint numbers floating above every person’s head.They ranged from 0 to around 500, although he was pretty sure there wasn’t a limit. They loomed above each person’s head, and rise gradually on a daily basis. Shuichi was quite certain that the numbers never went down, but that was about all the information that he knew.Miu’s number was 230. Kaede’s was 35. Korekiyo’s was 392, and Ryoma’s was 82. Meanwhile, Shuichi’s hovered over his head; a solid 0.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	numbers

### chapter 1

“Almost there,” Kaede pants, almost tripping over her feet as she hops from one moving platform to the next. Close behind, Shuichi flinches as yet another bomb goes off nearby.

The Death Road of Despair had proven itself unbeatable countless times, and Shuichi couldn’t even begin to count the number of times he had fallen off and had to restart. Wiping a bead of sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, he struggles to catch up with Kaede, watching the blonde’s hair bounce as she stumbles ahead. “How does she do it?” He muses to himself, straining to push open another metal gate. “Where does Akamatsu-san get her energy from?”

“Shuiiiichi,” Kokichi whines. Shuichi mentally groans as he turns around to see the shorter catch up to him and cling onto his arm, his eyes open in an attempt at puppy eyes. “Can’t we give up yet?”

And as much as Shuichi is Kaede’s friend and wants to escape, he can’t help being incredibly tempted to step off the platform and be sent back to the starting point. His heart thumps and his muscles ache, and he is so, so close to just giving up. Perspiration drips down his back, and he feels himself slowly fading out of consciousness, his vision fading out. A whimper escapes his lips; “A-akamatsu-san-”

“Not yet!” Kaede near yells, her head shaking frantically. “We can’t give up yet, Saihara-kun- we can’t, we can’t, we have to escape-” She chokes, losing her balance for a second. “God, why is it so _long_ -”

“That’s what she said,” Miu snickers, breezing past. For a second, Shuichi’s stunned by her relaxation and lack of tiredness, before remembering that she had manipulated Gonta into carrying her on his back for most of the first half of the Death Road of Despair. Or so he thinks; honestly, their crew doesn’t really have any indication of how far they are through this escape game, but he really, really hopes they’re close to the end. He might actually pass out soon, his vision blurring.

“Heeeyyy, guys!” Miu’s voice resounds through the tunnel.

Kokichi rolls his eyes, dodging another explosive. “What does that dumbass want now? Ugh, I swear, that pig never shuts up-”

Kaede halts to a stop, breath coming in short pants as she tries to catch her breath. “Iruma-san! What is it?” Saihara feels the smallest twinge of pity for her as Kaede’s hopeful voice pierces the air, slightly hindered by her lack of physical fitness. It didn’t really matter most of the time, given that she was a musician, but, well- None of the members of the crew expected that they would ever end up having to run for their lives in a dimly lit and terrifyingly dangerous tunnel.

A pink screen lights up their path, and Kaede, suddenly energized, runs straight towards it, nearly” colliding into Miu. “Oh my God, guys, this is it! We’re at the end of the tunnel!”

Monokuma pops up, his perspiration dripping in rivulets. “I- I can't believe you guys actually beat that escape game on the hardest difficulty...!" His disturbingly long tongue curls out, eerie eyes peering at the exhausted students. “So... frustrating...! But... I must... celebrate it!”

A bright, neon teal exit lights up, covered in a hexagonal pattern at the end of the tunnel. Monokuma smiles almost bashfully, paw reaching behind to scratch at his neck as he beams, “Congratulations! The exit’s this way!”

Despite her previous optimism and determination, Kaede’s tone takes a doubtful edge. “R-really? The outside world is just beyond this door?” Her skin is a concerning shade of blue, Saihara notes as he keels over slightly, still unable to catch his breath.

“Yep! Monophanie said so, didn't she? There is indeed an exit.” Monokuma replies, his teeth peeking out disturbingly through his smile. Shuichi can’t help but find it disturbing; malicious, even. He winces as Monokuma’s high-pitched voice continues piercing through the air joyfully; “And on the other side is the outside world that you guys have been so desperate to see!”

The atmosphere is silent for a second- even Kokichi doesn’t pitch in with another one of his snickering remarks. Monokuma’s grin stays in place on his bicoloured face as Shuichi tries to gauge whether or not he’s telling the truth.

Just then, Kaede breaks into tears, and Shuichi freezes, hands twitching in uncertainty. Is he- is he supposed to comfort Akamatsu-san? Is he close enough to her for that? Does she want to be left alone? Oh, God forbid he make her uncomfortable.

His questions are all answered when Kaede rushes into his arms, tears dripping in rivulets down a beaming face. “W-we finally did it! We can get out!” She cheers. Shuichi hesitantly wraps his arms around her back, silently listening to the other students celebrate. 

“Good job everyone!” Gonta carries a tired Himiko on his back, absolutely radiating positivity. “It’s finally ended.”

“‘Twas about time,” Kokichi grumbles, but Shuichi can tell that even he’s relieved and excited to go back into the outside world. After all, the 16 of them had spent so much time in a frenzy in the school; being forced to kill each other? Having to investigate their dead friends’ bodies? God, words can’t even begin to express how exhilareted Shuichi is to leave back to the outside world.

“But that's not the end for us, is it? After we get out, we're all going to stay friends.” Kaede releases herself from Shuichi’s grip, her hands clasped together as she addresses the group cheerfully. “Right?”

Hugs and grins are exchanged, students ready to run through the exit, and Shuichi almost doesn’t catch the malicious sneer on Monokuma’s face.

* * *

### chapter 2

When Shuichi had imagined a better life outside of the killing game, he hadn’t expected _this_.

Maybe he’d had unrealistic expectations. Perhaps the fact that they had all lost their memory had contributed. But, regardless; Shuichi had imagined a peaceful, content life with his newfound friends.

He didn’t expect the confused look on Kaede’s face when he embraced her in celebration. He didn’t expect Ryoma and Maki to withdraw themselves away again. He couldn’t get used to Miu and Kokichi not making fun of each other ruthlessly every time they saw each other.

But most importantly, he definitely did not expect the faint numbers floating above every person’s head.

They ranged from 0 to around 500, although he was pretty sure there wasn’t a limit. They loomed above each person’s head, and rise gradually on a daily basis. Shuichi was quite certain that the numbers never went down, but that was about all the information that he knew.

Miu’s number was 230. Kaede’s was 35. Korekiyo’s was 392, and Ryoma’s was 82. Meanwhile, Shuichi’s hovered over his head; a solid _0_.

“What are they?” He asks Tsumugi in class one day, figuring that she was one of the more approachable ones. While Kaede was a lot less aloof and more friendly, he didn’t want to deal with the awkward rejection from her again. Well, that was what he told himself. In reality, he just refused to believe that the other 15 students had completely forgotten about each other.

Tsumugi shoots him a look of bewilderment. “What are _what_?” The number 308 lingers above her.

Pulling the brim of his cap slightly further down, Shuichi averts his eyes. “The numbers floating above our heads.”

A flicker of realization flashes in her eyes. “Oh, those!” She exclaims. “Ah, you’re asking a bit late, aren’t you?” She tilts her head curiously at him. “We’re, what, 19 years old. You’ve spent the past 19 years not asking anybody?” 

Flushed with embarrassment, Shuichi fidgets nervously, unsure of what to say. He struggles to accept the fact that Tsumugi doesn’t remember him- none of the 15 other students in the killing game do, actually. They don’t seem to remember each other, either, barely giving each other a second glance. Even _Tenko Chabashira_ [168] doesn’t notice Himiko [193], someone she was so infatuated with previously.

“Well, I mean,” Tsumugi continues, seemingly not noticing Shuichi’s state of apprehension. “There actually isn’t a confirmed cause or meaning behind the numbers. Many theories have circulated, yeah, but we can’t be sure if any of them are true.”

Shuichi’s head droops, disappointed- He’d hoped that the numbers would help him out in figuring whether the whole killing game and Monokuma were real or not. _I suppose not_ , he sighs internally. It was the only lead that he had.

“Oh, oh- talking about the numbers, aren’t we?” An unfamiliar pink head [392] pops up behind them, eyes gleaming. For a second, her lips take the form of a sneer as she turns to Tsumugi. “Shiro-chan, why are you talking to this loser? He’s a _zero_.”

“Oh, come on, Junko-chan,” Tsumugi laughs nervously. “They’re just numbers, I’m sure they don’t mean anything. Shuichi-san’s not a loser.” [310]

Junko scoffs, propping her head on Tsumugi’s shoulder. “Well, loser Shuichi-kun. Since your dumbass doesn’t understand, this hopelessly perfect ultimate human Junko Enoshima will explain it to ya!”

Her bright pink hair bounces, two cute ribbons holding them together. “As Shiro-chan said, there isn’t a definite meaning behind the numbers. However! Junko Enoshima believes that it’s…” She pauses dramatically, eyes glinting. “The amount of _charm_ each person has!”

There’s a silence for a second as Shuichi realizes what that means. The number 0 looms over his head, while Tsumugi’s and Junko’s are in the 300s, and Junko snickers as she watches the mortification settle on Shuichi’s face. “Pfft, imagine having 0 charm,” she mocks. “Ah, of course the silent emo loser’s number is 0.” She flicks her hair behind her, picking at her red manicure. “Now, then, Shiro-chan, let’s leave Loser-kun alone to dwell in his sadness, poor thing.”

Junko drags Tsumugi away towards the direction of Sayaka Maizono [365], Tsumugi giving Shuichi an apologetic look before turning around.

And so Shuichi gets left alone in the corner of the classroom, the presence of the number 0 hovering over his head stronger than ever.

* * *

### chapter 3

Shuichi misses Kaede. 

Well, not that Kaede’s _gone_ or anything- but she might as well be, given that she remembers nothing about the killing game and thus doesn’t remember Shuichi. Hell, she probably remembers him as that one awkward emo guy who hugged her seemingly out of nowhere.

Sometimes, Shuichi catches himself staring at other students’ numbers, especially those of the students involved in the killing game that they had all seemingly forgotten. And the more time he spends observing numbers, the more he starts to believe Junko’s theory that the numbers indicate charm. Or, at least, something positive about personality.

Occasionally he hears other theories; Miu suggests excitedly that they indicate the number of people each person has been with, and of course, her theory is quickly shot down, given that some numbers go up to 450. 

Korekiyo mentions that it might be the number of people each person has _killed_ , and people almost believe it, given that some of the highest numbers belong to people like Kokichi, who claims to be an evil supreme leader, a junior Pekoyama who’s a trained swordswoman, and Celeste Ludenburg, who _does_ look like she could’ve killed hundreds of people. However, someone mentions that Chihiro Fujisaki has a decently high number, too, at around 280- “Ibuki doesn’t think Chihiro killed 280 people! Ibuki thinks Chihiro is a very sweet girl!”- and Korekiyo’s theory is shot down as well.

One day, another theory gains traction; that the numbers indicate how much personality a person has, or how interesting they are. And it makes sense, Shuichi realizes. More so than Junko’s theory about charm, at least. 

Kokichi, who spends his whole day deceiving people and claiming to be an evil supreme leader has a number of 420. Maki Katsuragi, a threatening senior that only Kaito Momota has managed to get close to, has a number of 358. Byakuya Togami, an affluent student with an excessive amount of charismatic intelligence and a whole horde of fangirls, has a number of 405. 

Chiaki Nanami [38], though a charmingly sweet gamer girl, was nothing more than that. And Sonia Nevermind [25], despite being an enchantingly pretty member of royalty, didn’t seem to have much personality, either. 

Junko Enoshima, and occasionally her junior Hiyoko Saionji, would make a game out of mocking and summarizing people in a few words, to show that they were “incredibly basic”, as Junko liked to call it.

Hifumi Yamada, [42]; “Stupid weeb.”

Touko Fukawa, [102]; “Ugly literature nerd.”

Aoi Asahina, [56]; “Donut-eating swimming pig.”

Chiaki Nanami, [38]; “niCe gAmEr giRL”

Sonia Nevermind, [25]; “Basic rich princess.”

Ishimaru Kiyotaka, [39]; “Strictass teacher’s pet.”

Gonta Gokuhara, [18]; “uWu i loVe bUgS”

Mahiru Koizumi, [86]; “Photography geek.”

And Shuichi winced, he really did, every time Junko went on this game of hers, because who knows when he’d be the next target? Meanwhile, Kokichi’s, Sayaka’s, Junko’s, and Celete’s numbers continued rising on a daily basis, and so did the discrimination against those with lower numbers.

* * *

### chapter 4

There are some days where Shuichi misses the days of the killing game.

Well, he doesn’t miss Monokuma; he doesn’t miss the constant fear and trepidation, neither does he want to ever experience again going through the Death Road of Despair.

He does, however, long for the friendship and camaraderie amongst the students. He craves the determination and optimism, the moments of happiness, the time they’d spent together.

He hasn’t seen Maki or Ryoma in a while, and Rantaro and Korekiyo don’t show themselves often, either. A slight twinge of regret twists in his chest; he wishes he had gotten to know them better while he could, before leaving the killing game erased their memories of him completely. 

When Monokuma had let them escape the killing game, Shuichi really hadn’t expected this. He’d imagined a normal, cheerful time with his newfound friends, persevering through high school together. This- he looks around the campus, on his lonesome- He hadn’t expected the loneliness, the bleakness of not having Kaede’s company; he hadn’t seen the tiresome melancholy coming. 

Shuichi’s shoulders are bent low, head tilted down as he grabs a tray of food and stumbles to the corner of a cafeteria. The murmurings and loud laughter echoing around the cafeteria are overwhelming, ringing in his ears as he stares at the unappetizing food.

Junko’s piercingly high voice echos, a cluster of girls with numbers higher than 400 all seated together with her. She turns her head towards Shuichi, sneering; “Oh? Loser-kun! We meet again, I see.” Her lips are twisted in a malicious smirk, and the other girls around her giggle and elbow each other. “It’s been, hmm, about a whole month since I last saw you, hasn’t it? And yet the number on your head remains a solid _0_?”

Shuichi, with the brim of his cap pulled over his eyes, nods slightly- The whole cafeteria is watching them, and he’d hate to completely ignore one of the girls with the highest numbers in the entirety of the school. His fingernails press into his palm as he clenches his fists underneath the table, hating the situation he’s stuck in.

“Aw, poor Shuichi!” Junko coos mockingly, voice getting louder and louder with every second. “Can’t even speak, can you? Are you too shocked to be in the presence of-” She flails dramatically, hand laid daintily on her chest- “Junko Enoshima, the perfect and ultimate fashionista?”

Shuichi stares at his shoes, tears blurring his eyesight. A foolish part of him hopes that Kaede Akamatsu- or any of the others he’d spent the killing game with- would come to his defense. In his peripheral vision, he watches them continue eating. Watches them continue with their daily lives, completely forgetting about Shuichi. Completely forgetting the times they’d spent together.

A tear leaks as Junko continues mocking him, the number _0_ looming over his head, as if declaring to the whole world that he was a loser with no personality, no charm.

_I guess that’s all I am to this world_ , he finds himself thinking, fingernails etching crescents into his palms. Fumbling, he runs his way out of the cafeteria, Junko’s laughter piercingly overwhelming. _Nobody from the killing game remembers me. Not even Kaede-san._ More tears run in rivulets down his cheeks as he slouches in a corner, isolated and separate from the rest of the school.

And as his eyelids droop and his fists unclench, he catches himself thinking one last thing.

_I wish I’d never left that killing game._

* * *

### chapter 5

When Shuichi awakens, he finds himself in a musty, dingy room. A bored, uninterested lady sits across him, picking at her peeling nails- The number 512 floats above her. Blurrily, he sits upright, taking in the unfamiliar sight. He’d never seen such a high number before.

“Oh, you’re awake,” The lady slurs, her high heel clad feet propped onto the table. “Well, let’s not waste time.”

“Uhm-” Shuichi raises his hand shakily. “Where are we-”

The lady shushes him, picking up a sheet of paper. “As I said, let’s not waste time.” Her eyes scan over the paper, a yawn escaping her. “Shuichi Saihara, am I right?”

He nods, his eyes darting around the room. It’s dusty, he notices. The furniture are all worn out, and it clearly has been a while since this place was last cleaned. Outside, he hears the sounds of students during recess- playing games, chasing each other through the courtyard, and enjoying their time. 

Oh, and there’s-- He overhears Kokichi’s voice, Kokichi and Kiibo bickering. The same way they did during the killing game, Shuichi thinks. The killing game that’s been wiped from everyone’s minds. His fists clench, wishing he could block out their voices, wishing he could move on and forget the killing game the way everyone else did--

“Are you okay?” The lady’s voice snaps him back to reality, and he blinks in slight confusion. Was she- was she _concerned_ about him?

He looks back at her, her fingers curled lazily around the folder she has a hold of. She coughs, throwing him an impatient look. “I asked you a question. Are you okay?”

His mouth is slightly agape, stuttering as he tries to formulate a response. Nobody had ever asked him that question before- nobody’s been _concerned_ about him before. At least, not after they left the killing game.

“Ugh, oh my lord,” She mutters, fingers clicking on the table rhythmically. “How are we supposed to get through this if you can’t even answer the _first question_ on the list?”

His heart twinges, shoulders drooping in disappointment. Of course. She wasn’t actually concerned about him. It was just her job to ask him questions. To pretend to care.

The same way Kaede probably did, back in the killing game. Maybe Shuichi’d had too high expectations. Maybe none of them actually cared about him at all, and stopped talking to him after no longer having use for him after the killing game. 

Ah, but he’s wasting time. He’s wasting the school counsellor’s time. She could be at home, drinking her life away, instead of being seated here. What had she asked him, again? Oh, yeah. “ _Are you okay?_ ”

And it was there, in a dingy, musty counselling office, with the uninterested school counsellor seated across him, that Shuichi told his first ever lie.

“I’m okay,” He mumbles, eyesight fixed on the floor.

The number 0 above his head turns into a 1.

_\-- Fin --_

**Author's Note:**

> whee whoo


End file.
